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Before you start, take a little time to prepare the massage area. The bedroom is an obvious choice, but you could be equally at home lying on soft rugs in front of the fire or anywhere where you are able to easily manoeuvre yourself around your partner during the massage. Just be sure to protect the sheets or floor coverings with clean towels, to avoid staining them with the massage oil.
To help relax your partner, dim the lights and use some candles to give the room a warm glow. Incense, if you like it, can help to enhance the atmosphere. Make sure the room is comfortably warm, or you’re likely to find yourself massaging a shivering, goosebumped lover! If neither of you find it too intrusive, have some relaxing music playing in the background.
Massage Oils
If it’s likely that the massage will lead to sex, and you’re planning to use condoms, it’s essential to use a water-based massage lotion, as oil based ones will weaken the latex in condoms and make them susceptible to breakage.
The Massage
Caution: If the recipient of the massage has any pre-existing health conditions that they think may be affected, it is advisable for them to seek medical advice before having a massage. In any event, do not massage over broken skin or varicose veins.
Make sure you have removed any jewellery and trimmed your nails, so there is less chance of catching your partner’s skin as you work. Ask them to stretch out comfortably on their front, and warm a little massage oil in your hands, before gently stroking the oil across their back and shoulders. You can either stand or kneel to one side of your partner, or straddle them – choose whichever is the most comfortable position.
1. Begin the massage by placing your hands, fingertips towards their head, either side of the base of their spine. It is important not to massage directly on the spine. Applying light pressure, move your hands up the back, in long, sweeping strokes, arching out over the shoulder blades at the top and coming down the back again with your hands slightly further apart. Repeat this move several times, keeping the speed slow but steady – the aim is to warm the muscles and build up a hypnotic rhythm which lulls your partner into a state of relaxation. Try to keep at least one hand on your partner at all times, as this gives a sense of continuity and makes your partner feel that they are getting 100% of your attention!
2. Then, starting just underneath the armpit, place both hands horizontally on one side of your partner’s back, fingers curved around their side, pointing towards the outside. Slowly pull your hands towards you, fingers slightly spread, and then push out again, focusing more pressure on the heel of your hand as you push out. Repeat this pull/push action, moving a little down the back each time until you reach the top of the buttocks.
3. Next, start again at the base of the back, and this time use just your thumbs to apply slightly harder pressure travelling up the back on either side of the spine. When you reach the shoulders, spend a few moments gently kneading the top of the shoulders and neck to release any tension in this area, before sweeping your hands over the tops and down the arms. Repeat this move a few more times.
4. The shoulders are a prime area for storing tension and this next move concentrates on the area between the shoulder blade and the spine. This is one area where you can apply a little more pressure. Use a little more massage oil to help your hands glide easily over your partner’s skin and work upwards, following the line of the shoulder blade towards the shoulders, alternating strokes with the flat of your hand and then with thumbs only, finishing by kneading along the top of the shoulders.
5. Then move down the arms, making long sweeping strokes down the entire length of the arm and start to gently massage the hands. Many people find that having their hands touched in this way is intimate and erotic. Massage each finger individually, and then interlace your fingers with your partner’s and gently stretch the hand out before massaging the tops.
6. Glide your hands back up the arms, using a gentle kneading action and sweep down the back to the buttocks. Using the heel of your hands, massage in a circular motion on the cheeks of the buttocks, starting at the top of the buttocks in the centre and working your way around the outer curve, gradually moving inwards. You can apply quite firm pressure here, and it is amazing how much the muscles in this area are tight with tension. Continue using the heel of your hands to massage the deep muscles of the buttocks, lifting and separating the cheeks as you massage the inner curve of the butt. At this point your partner will probably be starting to feel a little hot under the collar, but resist the temptation to abandon the massage as a little anticipation goes a long way!
7. Next, work your way down their inner thigh, fingers slightly apart, in a rhythmic motion, pulling your hands towards you. When you get as far as the knee, focus on the back of the leg, using light sweeping movements down the calf to the ankle and back up again, focusing slightly more pressure on the upward movement, to encourage blood flow back to the heart.
8. Be cautious when you get to the feet – some people LOVE their feet being massaged and will be transported into the realms of ecstasy, but there are others whose idea of hell is to have anyone touch their feet! Find out in advance where your lover’s ticklish spots are. Apply plenty of massage oil, particularly to dry areas such as the heel, before using the thumbs to really apply pressure into the soles of the foot, where there are a multitude of nerve endings. Gently massage each toe individually, and then slide your fingers in and out between the toes. This will feel amazing to your partner as feet rarely get much attention on a day to day level. Finish by gently covering the top of the foot with your hand and pulling down over the toes, stretching out the foot out into a point.
9. Get your partner to turn over onto their back and, if possible, position yourself behind their head. Start by kneading their scalp with the pads of your fingers for a few minutes, and then move down to gently massage their temples and forehead. Using two fingers on either side, trace down their jawline in small circles, releasing any tension that may be held there.
10. Sweep your hands down the side of the neck and out over their shoulders, then begin to massage the chest muscles in a circular motion, taking care not to apply too much pressure. Use a light touch – the idea is to tease as you work, so don’t make a beeline for the nipples, instead concentrate on the muscles at the side of the chest, using feathery strokes with your fingertips, before moving down to the stomach.
11. You may need to change positions at this point, to be further down the side of your partner’s body. Spread your fingers and use them to give a soft kneading action to the stomach, then fan your hands out towards the hips, sides of the buttocks and top of the legs, smoothing oil over those areas as you go.
12. Continue down the legs, using long, sweeping moves to the knee, to distribute the oil and then use a kneading/rolling action on the large thigh muscles. Move down to the lower part of the legs and again use long, sweeping massage strokes down the shin and over the tops of the feet. Repeat a few times in a rhythmic motion and then sweep back up the entire length of the legs to the hips.
13. With both hands on the hips, and use fingers and thumbs to give a gentle circling massage to the lower abdomen, just above the public bone and then finish by placing both hands on the hipbones, and holding them in place for a couple of minutes, to signify the end of the massage.
This sensual massage will leave your partner feeling wonderfully cherished and give you both an opportunity to share an intimate moment together. And if it leads on to an altogether more erotic encounter, then all the better…….!
Jenny Marlowe is co-owner of KinkyBlue (www.kinkyblue.co.uk), an erotic website devoted to encouraging people to feel good about themselves and their sexuality.
